Mommy & Mama & Cubs: communication

Couldn't believe - Today is FRIDAY! YES TGIF! Crab legs dinner tonite! Playing game - Blokus with friends Tonite! Oh oh - drinking wines - apple-raspberry wine that we got from Tenn (yum yum).

I'm thinking of a topic for today. Ummm... I do aware that some of you curious how we raise our kids as deaf parents. Honestly... Much better than what I grew up with my hearing family - ironically? Sorry my parents - I know its not their fault :o(

My dad do know some signs. He has a several deaf friends before I was born. Poor my mom, she has no knowledge of deafness when she first found out that I am deaf. She was devastated for a while. FYI - They are now perfectly fine. :o)

My parents found out that I was deaf at age 2. My parents decided to have my dad’s friends to teach them sign languages. So my parents can communicate with me easily. Audologist suggested my parents to check some schools (mainstream program and deaf schools). My parents decided to send me to residential deaf school My mom said it was the MOST hardest things that she ever had by sending me to residential school for the deaf. It was about an hour from my hometown. (Most states have one school for the deaf – while New York has several deaf schools (7) – most schools are more than an hour drive.)

Anyway… the year that I first went residential school. They were practicing oral method/approach (1970's theory) which means no signing allowed in education. My parents were a little uneasy and talked with principal about it. That idiot principal told my parents that I was at the “good chance” of going school in my hometown. If I keep up with “speaking” skills at school and at home then I can go hometown elementary school. Of course that increased my parents’ hope and decided to not use sign languages. They used oral method (speaking). For few years, school system realized that oral method/approach does not work so they changed to total communication (speaking and sign language at the same time). It is so confusing! Anyway... Highly recommendation - use sign language with no speaking or just speaking with no sign languages. they do not mix just like drink and drive.

Now,My parents said, “WE wished that we never LISTEN that damn principal!” My parents now couldn’t sign well. My mom once a while say, “I’m so sorry… that I couldn’t sign… I wish I could signs so that I can communicate with you easily.” I always blamed my parents for many years. Until one day, I decided to asked them – why didn’t they learn sign language when I was young. I was shocked to hear their stories. I said, “I’m so sorry that I was so angry against you for many years just because I didn’t know the facts.” Now I’m blaming that damn principal for not allowing us to have communication easily. (It breaks my heart when I typed – I do wish I could communicate with my parents and siblings easily than what we have now.)

That’s why I’m blessing to have my kids who can signs and be able to communicate with me (fully accessible and no missing out information). I actually choked my tears. My kids! They will have beautiful two languages to use – American Sign Language and Speaking English (some Spanish). We can make any kind of conversations - during dinner time, watching movies, any where because we can understand with each other like a family.

With my parents and sister/brothers, I always asked - What ya all talking about? They always said - oh we talked about the house on fire. I was like... excuse me... You all talked longer than that - the house on fire. I always had to asked for more details - then finally they said - a little boy was playing with matches and started the fire - blah blah (still surface informations). I do not want that in my family with my kids. I want them to know details as of normal conversation that peoople make. It would be nice if they all use sign languages while make a conversation. A VERY few family that all can signs and even relatives! I would say -- about 3 families that I know who can signs (hearing parents, hearing siblings, and even relatives). It would be nice for family who can signs for a deaf person. In my opinion, using sign language is more accessible than just speaking. I took speech classes since I was 3 yrs old. I can't tell you how much its fun - REALLLY BORING!!! All I do is reading book outloud - focus on accent and few parts to work on (still same problem today - 15 and 50 - both are so similiar - i have to emphasize 'n' for 15 LOL) all that.

Nowsdays, better techonologies to make it fun! More kids like going speech classes. Lucky them!

The point of whole things is that communcaiton accessible is really important for all family. Communciation and Relationship are important to me now especially with young ages.

Mikaela's CDC/Preschool

When I was teaching. Mikaela went to Child Development Center/Day Care (CDC) where we worked. They used ASL as primary communication mode but they do speaking (once a while). First two year, Mikaela loved going there. It was awesome because CDC and my office wasn't far. Actually, my office was on first floor and CDC was right above of my office (2nd floor).

Until I gave birth K. I stayed home. H and I agreed to have Mikaela stayed in CDC (Tues and Thurs) and going to other school where all hearing kids in her same age class (for speaking reason) Mon, Wed. and Fri. Last year fall, she went and she HATED it so much. We found out that most of her peers were gone! DC now have new charter schools that accepted 3 yrs old for free. Unfortunately, we lived in Maryland so Mikaela isn't qualified to go. It was only two kids - her and other kid. Other kid - sweet gal but doesn't know ABC's, doesn't write ABC's yet, just learned shapes and colors. Mikaela knows those stuffs. She was bored so her instructor decided to put her in next group once a while during the day - which is older 4 and 5 that couldn't go Kindergarten because of age cut off (has to be 5 before Sept. 30 to go Kindergarten). Her emotional stage is 3 yrs old and interact with older 4 and 5 years old. Once a while, she doesn't mind but all the time.

I'm not sure what the main reason why she doesn't want to continue. H and I had a long discussion and decided to pull her out from CDC and continue going other school 'BC'. That was the BEST decision we EVER made!

BC - a school that we couldn't ask for a better school. She goes Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays just for 2 hours a day. She learned so much more than what she learned at CDC. She always excited to go school. She wouldn't want to miss a day of school. (She would be mad if she has to miss for whatever reason that she has to miss).

The challenging that I have with BC. Teachers always said, "she's good" with thumb up. I was mad! I want more! They tell other parents more information about their child. I was furious and told H about it. She said, "we have to write a note and tell how we feel." We wrote a summary of how we felt and what we want to know about our child. Teachers were so kind and sweet! They kept apologized and said, "other deaf parents never bother to ask how their child is." Well We do! We wanted to know how our child doing and what our child needs to work on. We came up with a solution - a communication log book. Teachers will write what had happened in the class and how is she doing etc... Wow... MUCH BETTER!!! Now, I know my child better. I can more communicate with her than just thumb up :o)

BUT.... Mikaela's classmates' parents - urgh... Most of them tend to say hi and bye. Not what I want. I want to have some kind of conversation. Hopefully one of these days, the communication between kids' parents and us improve - some how...

I can speak but not as well as I would like. Some people think I speak well... Maybe in the past but now... dont think so.. Umm....